I would like to start by apologizing for the really sad pun in the title. Could not come up with anything more creative. Also attached below is a disclaimer which anyone reading this should go through before proceeding.
Disclaimer: All incidences and people mentioned in the following post are purely imaginary. Resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
It is not planned. It happens all of a sudden. It gives a huge shock to you and causes your hair to stand on end. No, I am not talking of a natural disaster or any bad news. I am talking about a very natural phenomenon that all introverts like me face many times in their lives. It is the feeling that they get when they have a crush on a girl that they have seen for the first time! There are some things about these crushes that I must mention before beginning. For these introverts, the girl they have a crush on is the most perfect girl possible. They see absolutely no fault in her and there is not a single day that they do not think about her. They imagine all sorts or future stories and probably spend three fourths of their time drooling about her. Another important thing about introverts. They are a storehouse of emotions. They can store many emotional incidences inside themselves without revealing anything out, something that I find remarkable!
Further down in this post, I would like to narrate the general changes that take place in the life of an introvert when he has a crush.
As I said, it happens all of a sudden. In a school classroom, or a private tution, maybe even a sports ground. He is sitting normally in the class chatting with his friends when suddenly she enters in. And believe it or not, the weird stuff that they show in movies, it actually happens! The time slows down, his heart skips a beat, he has a sudden exponential surge of attraction and for some time, he sees nothing but the girl. She obviously does not have the slightest clue who he is and hence passes almost right through him (if that was physically possible) and sits somewhere in the back. Then what does he do? Nothing. Instead of appreciating how the presence of that girl almost affected his metabolic cycle, he chooses to ignore it. Then he goes back to chatting with his friends with more than half of his mind still on that magical moment.
This is just the beginning. After that, instead of going up to that girl and talking his heart out, he chooses to just sit on his place and stare at her. First, it is general casual glances during lectures, however, they later on transform into serious stares. Sometimes she even catches him looking at her. His heart starts beating at a rate that will pacemakers break! From that moment onwards, he vows to limit his stares to a minimum. Just when he does that, things start getting worse. She ends up being in the same private coaching as he is, she also has the same subjects that he has taken. Exactly the kind of thing that he did not want.
Now he starts seeing her more each day. He even musters the courage to utter a few words to her. He sometimes talks about the syllabus for the test, what books to buy and other “academic” stuff that he obviously has no interest about. “But at least this is progress”, he tells himself. He finds her very sweet in talking to him. So sweet that he ends up agreeing to like half the things he has no idea of. But does that mean that he is normal when he is around her? Not at all! His heart still skips a beat every damn time she talks to him. His mental senses start going fuzzy whenever he is talking to her. But he still do not utter a word about this feeling and keeps it to himself.
Days go on and he feels that he has “progressed a lot”. he sends her a Facebook request and she accepts it! He is at the top of the world! Now he spends ninety percent of his on-line time on her profile. Looking at her photos and seeing the things she likes. Yeah! Just looking. He will not comment on any of them or like them. Because he feels that doing that might “give it away”. He start browsing her friends and frown everytime she has wished some boy a happy birthday, or she has liked his photos. He prays that she keeps coming on-line and when she does, he inadvertently sends a “Hey wassup!” on her chat.
There are sometimes when he is really lucky and she actually replies to one of them.(Heart skips a beat again!) But he chats with her. A lot! That is when he realizes something. He is the king of chats! This is THE place for him! He realizes that when he doesnt have to face the person, he can be very comfortable in talking, ohh well, chatting. Infact he starts chatting so frequently that he gets super impatient. If she replies even some finite time after his chat, he starts feeling restless. “This is definitely something!” He thinks to himself. Again, the important point, TO HIMSELF.
But, as he eventually finds out, one fine day, comes a bomb that makes him go numb again. This time, it is one of his friends talking to him and the friend generally asks , “Hey, you know about ****, the girl from our college, she is going out with that ****! Isn’t that hilarious??” He recovers enough to laugh at that and continue the conversation. Inside, he is bursting into flames. Something is erupting, but nothing can be done. Slowly and painfully, the fire inside him dies down till nothing is left. “I am too shy”, he silently admits to himself (and AGAIN, as I emphasize, it is to himself!)
So, this is it. This completes his story with the girl. He still continues to visit her profile occasionally and read the forwarded messages that she had sent him. He regrets all those moments when he felt like saying something but did not. But, as it is said, time heals even the deepest scars. Slowly, he starts growing over her. However, this recuperation period can be huge and very painful. All of this without even having an actual date or a break-up! That, my friends, is an introvert for you!
Therefore, what’s the takeaway from this rather boring and elaborate story? Whenever you start getting such feelings, you should do one of two things. First, TRY TO TALK DIRECTLY TO THE GIRL ABOUT THOSE! And if you think that you do not have the balls to do it and will probably never do so, then simply “crush the crush”. Just nip it in the bud. Why? Because, face it! Nothing’s going to happen! You will keep on having false hopes about things that are never going to take place. So, you either talk upfront, our live (under false hope) long enough to see yourself being terribly hurt… Because, before you know it, another girl will be coming in your life and you will again waste your time drooling..While this is happening, someone somewhere will be singing “And then it goes back…..and then it goes back!!”
